It’s the little things now, the slight change in posture, the squaring of the shoulders. I can better see what they will look like when they are done with their growing. They remind me more of relatives and their father. I wonder what they think when they see me staring into the future at them.
I still revel at every new responsibility or skill mastered just at much at when they were taking first steps or speaking first words. I am in awe of my youngest making himself mac and cheese. Who are these people in my life going to be?
The change of seasons this year feels more somehow…
More feelings about them growing up that are stronger somehow. My oldest is sitting in the front seat of the vehicle now. It takes me by surprise to open the door and see him sitting there, waiting. They have a whole floor of our house to themselves now. The daily evidence of their play mostly gone from the common areas. They huddle together and talk about books and video games, travels and movies. I listen to their debates and arguments, eavesdropping on them and hearing their confidence in their opinions.
The parenting drudgery is different now.
Less teaching more reminding, I harp on deodorant and face washing and toothbrushes and shampoo. More setting them to a task and overseeing, less wonder in their eyes and more savviness.
I overhear the same stories that my friends and I told when we had littles. The not sleeping babies, the toddler meltdowns, the picky eating, all there just handed down to mammas with younger ones.
There’s no more potty training but there will be driving lessons. The physical closeness of baby-hood makes way to older siblings babysitting while you run errands. The mind searing experience of having kids feels jarring when you have bigger children. Weren’t they babbling gibberish just yesterday? And then soon we will need another car.