“Oh my gosh he is SO cute! Look at that curly hair! Do you ever wonder how a little girl would look with those curly locks?” “When’s the next one?” “How old is he? Almost two? Oh, it’s time for another one!”
These are just a few of the comments my husband and I hear almost daily in regards to our family. As if it’s everyone else’s decision on when we have our next child. Don’t get me wrong, we do want another baby(s). But when did it become everyone else’s decision on when to have the next one? I know everyone means well. We usually take the comments with a grain of salt and smile and laugh in return. But they don’t know what our reasons are for waiting on number two.
Unfortunately this is a huge factor in wanting to expand our family. I know the old saying goes “you’ll figure it out and make it work.” Which is precisely the boat we are in financially now. We scrape by, sometimes living paycheck to paycheck. Daycare for one is hard enough to pay for, but daycare for two? I honestly don’t know how other families do it. Then throw in the additional diapers, wipes, and food for two instead of just one. The mere thought of affording two or more children is daunting!
Ok, I’m going to go against almost everything I just wrote financially-wise. When an exciting opportunity comes up, you take it. We were invited along on a trip to the Dominican Republic later this year. I have never been anywhere like that before, and my husband and I were never able to take our honeymoon. So when this opportunity arose, we jumped on it. We were able to set aside some extra cash to make the trip work and I cannot even tell you how excited we are for this well deserved vacation! I’m not sure about you, but I for one definitely do not want to be pregnant or have a newborn while on a trip like this. And since the Zika virus is very prominent there, we are taking the extra precautions and waiting at least 6 months after we return from our trip to try for baby number two.
I struggled with Postpartum Depression and connecting with my first born. The thought of struggling through that dark period of my life again is terrifying. I already feel much more confident in being a mom to the second one, but those feelings are still there. I need to be mentally prepared to bring another baby into our family. It’s taken me a while to get there but I can finally say I’m ready to take this on again.
Enjoying Our Time
My son will be turning two in a few months, and I am loving this stage in his life. Aside from the temper tantrums for no reason, he is such a fun age at right now. We are thoroughly enjoying watching him learn new things every day, talking more, and developing his own personality. He’s becoming more helpful with picking up his toys and wanting to help us do stuff around the house. My hope is that he will be even more independent whenever the second baby comes along. We have finally settled in to a routine and schedule that works well for our family. I’m not sure how I could split my focus between two kids at the moment.
You can go ahead and say we’re being selfish and putting our family on the back burner. Don’t worry, we’ve heard it plenty of times before. I even thought that myself for a while. But we’re doing what’s right for US. I love my family and we are excited to expand it as soon as we are ready. Right now is not the time.