Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

Mom-Shaming, but why? There is no perfect mom . . .

No One is Perfect
Let me start by saying I am far from a perfect parent and I make mistakes on the daily, heck probably even hourly. I constantly am wondering if I am making the right choice or if I am royally screwing up these tiny humans I have been entrusted to raise into functioning, well-rounded, respectable adults. Which, I am going to assume, is what we are all trying to do – Raise our tiny humans into kind adults. Yet, as a society we continue to knock each other down and mom-shame every action we, as moms, make in an effort to raise our tiny humans. But why are we mom-shaming? 

Constant Debates
Formula vs. Breastfeeding? Why are we mom-shaming the mom who chose, or didn’t choose to formula feed? Why are we mom-shaming the mom who is breastfeeding her hungry child? In both cases the mom is simply trying to keep her sweet babe fed and healthy. We don’t know the battle they are facing or why those chose the path they chose, but we do know that they are doing what they can to raise their tiny human into a healthy, strong adult. 

Co-sleeping vs. Crib Sleeping? Cry it out? Rock’n’Plays? Bassinets? I think we can all agree on ONE thing here, we all want and NEED sleep. Why should we have a say in how another mom decides to accomplish this very needed, much desired, thing called sleep? We need our babies to sleep and we also need our sleep. The method we as moms choose to tackle this desired thing called sleep  shouldn’t constantly be at the scrutiny of every other mom. 

Co-Sleeping

These debates are endless and continuous. But, why? Yes, there are statistics on why we should and shouldn’t do things one way over another, but why are we constantly jumping on another mom because they don’t parent the exact same way we do? Some nights my babes cry it out, some nights they co-sleep. My daughter still has a pacifier. My son slept in a rock’n’play, my daughter sleeps in her crib. I know the pros and cons to each situation, but my intention in every situation is to soothe my child. To comfort my child. To teach my child. Every single day and every situation is different and therefore results in a different choice to best fit that moment. 

The Shaming
To this day I have yet to meet someone who enjoys being put down or scrutinized by others. We all want the best for our child, the choices we make are made with the best intentions.

“While we tend to judge ourselves based on our own intentions, we more often judge others based on their actions.” 

This quote rings so true. Every day we are striving to raise our tiny humans into functioning, well-rounded, respectable adults. While we make choices with the best intentions we tend to turn around and judge others based on their actions, rather than their intention. The mom-shaming needs to stop. We need to build each other up, to support each other and to think about the intentions, rather than the actions. Try to remember that other moms are also making their choices with the best intentions and stop the mom-shaming.

 

Additional reads:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/201710/10-ways-deal-mom-shaming
https://www.thebump.com/a/mom-shaming-experience

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