In February, my husband and I welcomed our third child (and third boy) into our family. He’s a absolute blessing and has completed our family of 5.
Why am I telling you this?
I am sharing a not-so-secret, secret…. my heart broke a little when the ultrasound tech told us she was “75% sure it’s a boy”. I was ABSOLUTELY sure it was a girl.
Without a shadow of a doubt we were going to have 2 boys and a girl and she had the perfect name. It was in the plan, don’t go messing with my plans!
In a matter of moments a million emotions went through me…. Suddenly my dream of having a little girl was completely off the table.
These emotions were raw. I was sad, jealous, scared, mad, overwhelmed (holy $#@%, 3 boys?!) and the list goes on. How was I going to be a mom of boys? I grew up with sisters, this whole boy thing was foreign to me.
I remember thinking “but I don’t even like baseball……”
Fast forward to meeting my little love and while there are fears (some real, some ridiculous) I wouldn’t change my tribe for anything.
Everyone Has An Opinion
It shocks me how 9 out of 10 times when I tell someone I am a mom of 3 boys, something like “so you’re trying for a girl, right?” immediately enters the conversation.
Um, no. Three is good, thank you very much!
These comments immediately send a chill up my spine. I’ve bitten my tongue PRETTY hard a few times in order to not snap back with something snarky. While I have already admitted I would have loved to have a daughter, it feels almost as is if it’s taboo to be OK with not. Almost as if you aren’t a real family if you don’t have at least one of each sex.
However, that assumption couldn’t be further from the truth.
Why is it so unbelievable we are happy with 3 boys?
There are so many great things about being a mom, period!
With that said, I can always count on things like: my boys will run wild – together, have similar interests and will want to shower me in hugs and kisses. I get to be their first love, their first female role model and teach them how to treat someone they love. I’ll be the little voice in their head telling them they can do anything as long as they work hard and stay determined.
I don’t need to have a daughter to feel complete.
As a mom of three boys I cannot wait to see what life has in store. Whether it’s chasing them around the yard, playing catch or showing them how to shoot a basketball….. (just kidding, I have terrible form, I’ll leave that sport to Dad!). I’ll continue to hold family dance parties to ensure they aren’t the bums in the corner at dances (and to ensure I always have a dance partner). I picture myself as the loud mom in the stands making sure my kids know I’m always there supporting them. Life as a boy mom is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
Change the Message
If you find out someone is having another boy or girl, don’t follow the announcement with something negative. You never know how they are feeling about it and there’s no need to add to a new mama’s stress. Instead, think before you speak and try one of these 3 suggestions.
- Talk about how awesome it will be for the siblings to have so many things in common!
- Share a personal story, if you have one, about how great it is!
- Encourage moms to embrace their new normal however, pay attention! Some mamas need some time to
grieveadjust to the life they thought they would have and this is OK! If they aren’t feeling 100% on board yet, let them know that is OK too! We all need time to adjust to anything new in life.
What are some of the silliest responses to the announcement of your new child have you received? How do you respond when you are DONE having kiddos?